Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Lately I've been feeling very internal. I haven't really wanted to communicate with people and it physically hurts to throw myself out there. I sit here today toying with those same feelings. Being selfish, I just want to stay home. I want to crawl in a hole and stay there forever. It's not really beneficially to anyone though.
When the feelings surface, I tend to feel like I'm going to explode. I feel angry and emotional. I could sir on my couch all day, drowning in coffee, without a worry. This isn't fair to my family though.
I've became a master at dragging myself out of the house. I get dressed and barely look into a mirror. If I take that added second I could possibly change my mind. The boys need me to be out and about. They need to socialize and explore.
Last night I decided we'd start a lesson plan and really stick with it. I've made sure to include outings in the many activities just so i have zero excuse to stay indoors.
Being an introvert is no easy task. It's an internal struggle every day. I feel anxiety when I go out alone. I just know one of the boys aren't going to behave and I'm going to endure stares. I smile at people and hope that i wont have to exchange more then that. Socializing has quickly became a struggle all in itself. I never dreamed that I would posses such feelings. I've always considered myself outgoing and a people person. Things sure do change.
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
This past weekend was quite a blast for my boys. Early Saturday morning we loaded up the Xterra and drove 5 hours to Carlisle, PA for the 2014 Ford Nationals. The drive went incredibly well! B got in a super good nap and Roscoe stayed on Daddy rhe whole time.
There was so many cars at the show. Mostly Mustangs but that's the boy's main interest anyways. We walked over five miles in 90 degree heat to view the hundreds of cars. B was extremely well behaved and enjoyed calling out colors and saying "GT". Chance on the other hand was in a complete daze. He was everywhere! He was super excited for the burn out competition and even more excited for the 2015 mustang the show had on hand. He had to have pictures and drooled at it for quite some time.
There was also a pretty cool swap meet at the show. Chance found a Mustang he really wants to buy and B scored a couple hot wheels along with some cool new shirts. We stayed Saturday night and went back Sunday morning but at that point the show was dying down. We walked around for a few houes before deciding it was time to head back to VA.
We had such a great time! It was a really good mini vacation before baby. B was great and the boys loved the cars. My big ole pregnant self returned swollen and sore but I loved seeing the boys so happy.