I'm obsessed...

This guy. 

I'm pretty in love with my husband. Lately we've been bickering more than usual. He claims I'm being mean and I say he's being mean. Preggo hormones at their best.

I drove past the ships on base today and it tugged at my heart strings a bit. It reminded me of deployment and underways. It reminded me that at one time I was alone without my other half. It scared me... the thought that deployment might possibly happen again aches. 

I rely on Chance way more then I should. He is my rock and a huge supporter of all things me. Anytime I get a wild hair to do something he encourages me to try it.  He's a rockstar with B and I know he's going to be a great Daddy to our next little man. 

He holds me when I'm down. He offers words of kindness when I'm in need. He always backs down when we argue. I couldn't ask for a more loving and supportive man.

I'm truly a lucky woman. For the next three years my husband is all mine. We won't be experiencing any deployments or underways. I feel so special to have my husband with me. I'm overly happy that my babies get to have their Daddy with them. 

I've been taking so much for granted lately. I have everything I could ask for and more. I'm happily married and can't imagine a life without my husband and sweet boys. 

The life I was suppose to have;

Today I'm stealing a little posting idea from Brittany at Tales From a Sailor's Soul Mate. Go show her some love. After reading Brittany's post I was inspired to think about where I would be today if a few things hadn't of happened. While I was still in highschool I had all intentions of going to a big university. It was more then just to cheer for a school, it was to continue color guard. That was a love of mine in highschool. Unfortunately funds didn't really cooperate on that part and I ended up at a local state college, Pensacola State. I decided to attend for my nursing degree and would continue on the route for my four year degree once I moved to Virginia with Chance. Planes however do change. Last December, my last semester at PSC, I got a funny feeling. I couldn't wake up in the morning without eating because of nausea. Chance and I would soon find out out that I was pregnant.

Needless to say this made Chance and me a little worried. We stressed for a bit but we made it through. On December 17, 2011 (just 3 days after we found out I was pregnant)I graduated from PSC with my AA in Pre-nursing. We were both extremely joyous that I did get to finish my degree.

With a baby coming we decided to get engaged and have a courthouse marriage. We married December 27 and Chance headed back to Virginia the next day.

At this very moment I'm writing this blog with my two month old sleeping beside me on the couch. Never in a million years did I dream I would be a mommy at the age of 20. My dream of going to college for my bachelors has once again been put on hold. B was born at the beginning of this semester so I didn't even try to go back. With a deployment coming up I'll be moving back to FL for a while. I can say that I do not regret a single thing. Yes, I did want the perfect proposal and the BIG white wedding. All of this stuff was put aside when we found out we had been blessed. We got married way earlier then planned but we are both perfectly happy with this. We're so happy to be parents!

Life's happening fast;

So on top of everything that has been happening more has began.

Chance took my parents and I out to dinner tonight... Just a normal thing like we always do, but as we went to leave he asked my mom to take a picture of us and ended up dropping to one knee and proposing. So sweet of course.

The diamond in my ring came from his mom then he picked the rest out at Lewis and co. The diamond is 1 ct. And it is gorgeous. It sparkles soooooo much. My wedding band is quite the pretty sight as well.

Now to say that I must go ahead and say chance and I will be wedding soon. More then like in the next week unless he wants to wait for his mom. I need to get my fl DL changed with my last name and get my insurance started so our little one can be looked at by a doctor. No we are not getting married only for a baby... We've talked about it a million times and was waiting for the right time and now seems to be it.

I'm excited but still scared with this baby. I'm young to be a mommy. We'll get through it with a beautiful little angel though.

Turn back time;

Ever felt like you just needed to turn back time and change things that you did.

Yeah I'm feeling like that right now. This baby thing is tough. I'm in the most foul mood most of the time. The only thing I was drawing strength from was how excited Chance had became and I arrive home yesterday to him being less then excited and it carried on into this morning. I know he didn't want this but you don't solely need to blame it on me alone. It isn't only y fault it takes two to tango. He did make me eat more then just toast this morning because the little bean wanted more apparently.

Another upsetting thing is that Saturday he had decided we were getting married to take care of it all, he even went to the extreme of calling my father and asking if he could marry me. We were going to do it before he went back to Norfolk but now it seems like it won't be happening at all. and all he can say is you always get what you want... A baby... A husband... And like I told him I don't even have any of that and won't for a bit and I didn't want a child now. I wanted a fiancé....

Needless to say some moments I wish I hadn't of gotten pregnant. This is a lot to deal with at my age... And without support it only hurts me and makes my days drag on...